The Jazz Have Been Lucky and I Think The Refs Have Been Paid Off Using Tithing Funds

As glad as I am that the Jazz are up 3-1, it hasn’t felt like they’ve outright dominated once in this series. In fact, I dare say they’ve been lucky. At no point do I think the Rockets have outplayed them, but they have underplayed this whole time.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually feel like the officiating has been terrible because it seems to be favoring the Jazz! Poor Luis Scola has received a couple fouls a game, including a couple crucial ones that impacted the outcome, that were as ticky-tack as they come. If I were the Rockets, I’d swear there was a conspiracy going on somewhere.

Actually, I DO swear there is a conspiracy going on, but that’s an entirely different post. Basically, the refs are what’s wrong with the NBA and I believe it’s total collusion. But, we’ll table that for later.

Plus, where have Boozer and Korver been? For being such key factors to the Jazz’ success, they have been almost completely non-factors. Korver can’t hit a 3 to save his life, practically his only real value, and Boozer hasn’t hit much of anything. Williams has emerged as the obvious star, completely eclipsing any illusion to it being a joint effort with Boozer. In fact, if anyone has taken up the slack, it’s been Okur. Thank goodness he’s doing alright.

Interesting sidenote on Okur, a friend of a friend lives in Detroit, where he used to play, and they claim he smokes like 3 packs a day. Athletes and doctors that smoke make no sense to me. Imagine what it must be like guarding Mehmet and having to smell the nicotive ooze out of his pores. Nasty. Actually, that’s probably true for most actors too. Think about how terribly Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt must reek.

I predict the Jazz in 6. The Rockets will probably win the next one at home, and then the Jazz will finally step up back in SLC in game 6. It didn’t have to be this difficult, but, like I’ve said, the Jazz love to make things hard for themselves.

I Hate People Who Hate Oasis

A very good indicator of whether I’m going to like someone or not is how they feel about Oasis. If they don’t like them, I can feel the blood and heat rush to my face and my fists clinch.

There are only two reasons anyone EVER gives for not liking them. They are:
1) The brothers are a couple of clowns.
2) They copy the Beatles too much

Both of these reasons drive me crazy because neither one is based on actually listening to the music. It’s based on an impression they’ve acquired from the press that they’ve adopted as their own when they have no idea. Simple mindedness like this is one of my biggest pet peeves in people. So, there’s no sense pursuing a relationship. If they’re knee-jerk about this, they’ll be knee-jerk about other things. Knee-jerking is for jerks.

The first reason is the one most created by the press. Yes, the Gallagher’s fight and argue and can act immaturely. However, Ray and Dave Davies did the same thing and no one wrote off the Kinks as being a bunch of hacks. Plus, has anyone ever actually watched a Noel Gallagher interview? He’s one of the most clever, candid, and humorous rock stars out there. I recently watched a doc series called The Seven Ages of Rock and the episode on British Indie Music was the best installment. The best scene, and I’m trying to find it online, is when Noel says that "Wonderwall" made him a millionaire four times in one week. He then, for emphasis, holds up four fingers and mouths “Four times!” as if his own mind was blown by it. So honest and hilarious. Another moment was from the film Live Forever, a doc on the same subject. Noel is slouched in a huge desk chair and says, after defending their opus Be Here Now, “Take it to the shop, you might get 2 quid for it. Come ‘round and I’ll sign it. You might get 5.”

Reason number two is the lamest. Show me one band NOT influenced by the Beatles, and I’ll tell you it’s actually jazz. Blaming them for copying the Beatles is like vilifying a Christian for copying the Bible. I can only think of one song that has any remote Beatles rip-off and it’s the intro to “Don’t Look Back In Anger”, which has a piano part that sounds a lot like “Imagine”. Other than that, they write some of the greatest, straight up, power drenched, rock songs of all-time. How anyone can listen to “Champagne Supernova”, “Live Forever”, or “D’You Know What I Mean?” and not be blown away by the sonic ferocity makes no sense. You must have pear and mango moisturizer running through your veins.

I will admit they aren’t the most inventive lyricists in the world. Noel’s words seem to be there to fill space between power chords and solos. The one bonus of that is that lead singer Liam is one of the greatest singers/interpreters in the biz and can make nothing sound like something. I’ll sacrifice lyrics for sheer sonic force.

Lost Gem of the 80s #2: Blow Monkeys - "Animal Magic" (1986)

Remember horns? Whether real or synthesized, the 80s were full of them. And it wasn’t a big deal. Most bands employed a brass section.

Well, other than the occasional Clarence Clemons sighting, I can’t think of a rock band that uses a horn in any current bands or hit singles. Sampling horns for "Crazy In Love" doesn’t count.

I was a big fan of the horns back in the day. They seemed to liven up the party. This brings me to the Blow Monkeys, who used them better than most. Their one and only American hit, "Digging Your Scene", incorporated them seamlessly into their loungey, sophisti-pop sound and no one batted an eye.

The surprise of Animal Magic is actually the guitar. Scrape away the horns and the strings and you have some legitimate blues guitar going on. Whether it’s the acoustic strum of "Wicked Ways", or the clippity-clop underlying "Burn The Rich", which, in Dwight Yoakam or the like’s hands, would have been a total barn-burner. In fact, I remember “dubbing” (remember that?) the album off a friend and being disappointed because the guitars were so prevalent. My tastes were geared more toward the Thompson Twins at that point, and this was not that.

The only thing keeping an album like Animal Magic from catching on with now people is the fey voice of leader, Dr. Robert. It’s only as I listen to the album now that I catch on to the veiled homoeroticism that I was too young to catch onto before. Plus, let’s face it, who DIDN’T seem gay in the 80s? It was such the style that my gaydar still doesn’t work right because I was never faced with a difference. He’s since traded his status in as Lounge Lizard to Torchsong Troubador, but it doesn’t fit him like this does.

Animal Magic is an album that deserves to be rediscovered today. Almost every song is a winner and, when you can listen without prejudice (thank you, George Michael), the musicianship is solid. It’s shrouded in that 80s production that drowns out such things in favor of that lush sheen, but it’s there.

I’ll go out on a limb here and say that I am finally placing this album in my all-time top 5. If you even remotely liked "Digging Your Scene", do yourself a favor and investigate the rest. There aren’t that many albums out there that deserve to remain on repeat for days on end.

Sadly, this masterpiece is out of print. But, I have a spare copy if anyone wants to buy it off me. :)

The Nugget – "Aeroplane City Lovesong". It’s got all the best of the various elements that make this such an incredible record; bluesy guitars, emotional strings, sexy brass, bongos and congas, and that unsung element of any great song, Black backup singers.

The Jazz and My Religion: Practically the Same Thing.

It’s that time of year again. The time when the Jazz break my heart, just as they do every year.

I suffer from extreme loyalty. It’s a condition I wish I could shake, but I can’t. When I take assessment of this and weigh where my loyalties lie the most, it comes down to, in order:
Family
Religion
Utah Jazz
And, much like my religion, the Jazz never seem to pay the dividends my loyalty deserves.

I’ve been a fan since I was about 8 when I lived in the Bay Area and my grandparents had season tix to the Jazz, back when they practically had to give them away, and they would send me care packages of Jazz goodies and autographs. It’s true what advertisers say, if they can get their hooks in you at a young age, they have a customer for life.

Then, we moved to SLC when I was 10 and would often go to the games with them, back when getting tickets near their seats was no problem at all. After my grandpa died, my grandma would trade off taking me and my cousin Rick to all the games. From then til now, the Jazz have been, more or less, a perpetual disappointment. There were the Mark Eaton and Adrian Dantley years that barely brought respect, let alone a title. Then, there was the Stockton and Malone era, which were the salad days of Jazz devotion. They got better, they won, they became household names, they even made it to the finals two years in a row. But, they couldn’t get it done. Every year, they come back like prodigal sons, and we take them back because we love and believe in them (and because there isn’t much else to root for in Utah) and they continue to embarrass us.

I’m not saying Utahn’s have it as bad as Bostonians, but it’s tough to be a sports fan in Utah. In addition to the Jazz, BYU and the UofU have never really broken through to the elite either. In fact, what they do is tempt us. The U’s basketball team, led by Andre Miller and Michael Doleac, got to the National Championship in ’97, I think it was, and managed to give Kentucky a run for their money. But, they couldn’t hit a shot in the second half (no surprise) and ended up losing. Even though I went to BYU, we all lost when that happened.

BYU has had some success with their football program, but the bowl games they get invited to are never the big ones and, even though they’ve been doing well in whatever bowl was willing to have them lately, there were many years that they couldn’t be counted on either. See, Utah teams don’t just lose, they lose dramatically. They defeat themselves first and watch as the other team takes advantage.

Wins and losses mean more in Utah because each team also represents Utahns and, more specifically, Mormons. When a team does well on the national stage, it makes Mormons seem ever –so-slightly less strange. See, Mormons are very much the same way. We rarely compete on a national stage and win either. Maybe it’s a fear that success will bring corruption. Maybe it’s because we’re too naïve. Maybe, we’re afraid to compete in the real world. Personally, I believe it’s pieces of all 3 and can attest they all live, in various degrees, in my psyche.

The paradox here is, most sports teams, other than BYU’s, are not made up of members of the church. There are no Mormons on the Jazz. I can only think of a couple ever. The U isn’t stocked with them either. But, the perception outside of Utah is that Utah is a small market, it’s full of Mormons, and no one outside of Utah cares how good we are because they assume everyone in Utah is LDS. And Mormons are weird right? And isn't Utah where the polygamists live? And I heard you can't have alcohol in Utah, etc.

It is funny though how much the Jazz resemble a team Mormons would make if they could. I guess, since Larry Miller, the owner of the team, is LDS, that’s what the team is, but nevermind that. They play hardnose, never complaining, never showboating, team before individual, always adhering to a strict behavioral code that is unwaveringly stressed by a noble leader (Jerry Sloan) who walks it like he talks it. They are the embodiment of Mormon values and have been as long as Sloan’s been at the head, and will continue as long as he’s there. He even has a reputation for benching guys who don’t follow his rules, kinda like being disfellowshipped. Not to mention, like the church, they have a disproportionate number of white men.

I’m about to watch game one of the Jazz/Rockets series and, while I have high hopes that the Jazz can seriously compete this year, I’ve learned not to delude myself into believing they have a chance to go far, let alone win it all. In fact, there is one thing I CAN count on this postseason. We will manage to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Just like every other year.

Good Ol' Rick

Last week I finally purchased Rick Springfield's 2 Disc Anthology, Written In Rock and I needed to annouce that it's brought me a lot of joy.

He's an underrated artist, let's be honest about that. The guy can write a hook, tons of them. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm a lot less interested in being cool musically. All those bands I wrote off in my twenties (REO Speedwagon, Motley Crue, Styx, Kenny Loggins, Journey, Poison, John Denver, Steely Dan, the list goes on and on), I'm happy to embrace now. It's like delayed gratification. I put off then what would make me happy later.

I do have one complaint. It gets old that Rick has to perform "Jessie's Girl" every day of his life when he has 10 or so other songs that everyone also knows. Give Jessie a rest and pull out some "Human Touch" or something. I'm sure it isn't his fault, poor guy. Those of us who know him though, know he's better than that.

Lost Gem Of The 80s #1: Robbie Robertson - st (1987)

It’s easy to decide how you’re going to feel about Robbie Robertson. You just have to look at the credits.

We’ll start with Robbie himself. We know he’s the esteemed guitarist and songwriter for The Band (a band I never liked until I saw Scorsese’s Last Waltz). That alone brings a lot of trust and respect. Now, this album doesn’t veer toward the lean country blues the Band were so steeped in, but these are the 80s afterall.

Then look at the guests. The first names to pop out are going to be U2 and Peter Gabriel, and both contributions are pretty noticeable. These make sense considering the album is produced by Daniel Lanois, who also produced U2’s Joshua Tree and Gabriel’s So (two seminal albums of any era), as well as Bob Dylan’s comeback (and best album in my opinon), Time Out Of Mind. And, like U2 and Gabriel, he has a style that’s easy to spot. It’s sweaty and atmospheric. If you do the math, you could easily see the songs on this album as extensions, or even outtakes, if you will, of Joshua Tree and So. If two of the greatest albums ever hooked up and spawned, wouldn’t you be interested in the results? U2 are more than guests, they’re the band for two tracks “Sweet Fire Of Love” and “Testimony”. You know it’s them the second a guitar is strummed or a drum is hit.

Also on board, though less of a headline, are The BoDeans and Ivan Neville (son of Aaron). Round that out with various members of the Band, and it's obvious what this is going to be about and sound like. While these may not mean as much to unfamiliar listeners, rest assured they are in keeping with the quality of the others. Overall, some pretty good genes.

It’s tempting to think the guests almost steal the album right out from under Robertson, but that isn’t the way to look at it. They lend their talents to compliment his. All of the songs are powerful, in that 80s Reagan/Bush Sr. kind of way, and vaguely political, also in that 80s Reagan/Bush Sr. kind of way. One of the singles, “Showdown At Big Sky”, got some airplay and MTV played the video a few times. It best sums up what you’re in for. Also on the album is the original version of “Broken Arrow”, a song made famous a few years later by Rod Stewart, albeit in an inferior version.

It took Robbie 11 years to release a solo album, and he’s only released 3 others since, but this is an excellent piece of music from any era. If you don’t believe me, check out #77 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 Best Albums Of The 80s.

The Nugget - "Sweet Fire Of Love". Again, it's that great lost track any U2 fan, and there are a couple, needs to be aware of.

Fat Man Running

Farrah and I set a goal in December that we would run a 10k this year. The obvious choice if you live in Colorado is the Bolder Boulder, an annual event attended by thousands. It’s a huge deal.

Up til now, the furthest I’ve ever ran without having to walk is 6 miles, which I did twice about 4 years ago. There was a path by our apartment in Sacramento that was exactly 3 miles. I got to where I was running it pretty regularly (about 3 times a week) and one night I still felt full of energy after doing it once so I ran it again. The next night I tried again and made it. The night after that I struggled to do the regular 3. At 6’8, 265, I’m not exactly built for this sort of thing.

Anyway, my running has dropped off the last 3 years. It’s mostly been replaced by racquetball or nothing at all. So, we are following a program Farrah found online, specifically structured for those training for the Bolder Boulder. If I were doing it to the letter, I would be running 5 times a week, but I’m doing more like 3. Plus, I was sick for about a month and am now playing catch up.

Initially, the plan was pretty easy. Walk 2 mins/run 1. It’s advanced over the weeks to today, where I ran for 15 mins straight. Sounded easy, but it wasn’t like I thought it would be. Or, walk 1/run 5. Still, I’m making progress, slowly. It still isn’t fun going to the gym and, while I’ve lost weight (about 20 lbs), that has mostly been due to my diet, I think. Plus, I’ve done most of my running on a treadmill at a pretty slow pace (between 5 and 6 mph or 10-12 min miles). Running on a track, which I did tonight, is harder.

People are often asking me to make them good running mixes, so I wanted to post my fave 15 running songs in the order that I would listen to them for maximum impact. My running playlist has like 45 songs, so if anyone wants more info, let me know.

Gary Wright – Love Is Alive This is the perfect first song if, like me, you start off with a minute or so of walking. By the time it gets to the chorus, you’re ready to burst. Believe it or not, this funky piece of soul from the 70s is by the same guy that did "Dream Weaver", the most unfunky song of all time. You would never know that if I hadn’t just told you.

James – Born Of Frustration Until recently, this was my very favorite song to run to. The Tarzan yelps and climactic finish are the perfect things to get your blood pumping. Plus, this song makes me want to direct a movie, just so I can play it over the perfect scene. It’s a classic.

Doves – Words This is a good one to set a pace to after you’ve gotten up and running. My feet tend to hit the ground to the down beat in almost perfect syncopation.

Fire Inc. – Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young This is the guilty pleasure of the bunch. All you need to know is that it’s written by Jim Steinham, the man behind Meat Loaf and classics by Air Supply (Making Love Out of Nothing At All) and Bonnie Tyler (Total Eclipse of the Heart). It’s of the same ilk. Sweeping and overdramatic, when the motorcycles rev around the 2 minute mark, you’ll be ready to kick it into high gear. This song is from the 80s movie, Streets Of Fire, which also spawned the ubiquitous hit, I Can Dream About You. (The album version is about 7 minutes. The single version in the link above is more like 5.)

Silverchair – Straight Lines A song made for running to, judging strictly by the pace and build up. Also, it was released last year, so it’s a good one to get your mind back out of the cheesey 80s song you just secretly loved.

Bob Mould – Shine Your Light (Love Hope) This is my new fave running song. It’s perfect for me. Rarely would I put a song on repeat and get as much out of it every time, but this is the exception. Backstory: Bob Mould is considered one of THE guitar gods, but a few years ago he decided he cared more about DJing and vowed not to make anymore rock albums. He lost most of his audience. So, the album this song comes from, Body Of Song, bridges the delta between these two sides of his personality. Unfortunately, I can't find any youtube links to it. Check it out on itunes or amazon or something.

Arcade Fire – Wake Up I’m a sucker for rock songs that sound like gospel tunes (I call it Rockspel). These guys are one of the most passionate bands out there. If you don’t know them already, this will convert you. Bit of trivia: a couple of the members were raised Mormon.

The Dears – Ticket To Immortality This song holds a special place in my heart because it reminds me of Georgia. Listen for the part at around 2:45 when, after repeating “The world is really gonna love you” lead singer Maury Lightburn says, ever-so-subtly and in a high falsetto, “I promise you. Just like I do”. The way he sings that one line is EXACTLY what I say to Georgia in my heart every day. The words are good, but his delivery makes them poignant.

Longwave – Wake Me When It’s Over This is sort of a chill out song. It isn’t slow, by any means, but it’s got an emotional weight to it. By this point in your run, it would be nice to tone down the blood pumping and let your mind wander. This is the soundtrack to that. Incidentally, this song may be my #1 track one ever. In other words, it's the first song on the album it came from.

Mark Ronson and Daniel Merriweather – Stop Me The next few go back to the blood pumping, but tone down the guitars and focus on the dance floor. This song was my pick for best song of last year. Plus, it’s a cover of a Smiths classic. You can’t go wrong.

Gorillaz – DARE Keeps the party going.

Duran Duran – Shelter Same. Not sure what this video is, but the song is playing in the background.

Mute Math – Typical The guitars return. I'm betting this one is most likely to become “your new favorite song”. Very cool video too.

Sleater-Kinney – Let’s Call It Love This one is a challenge. It’s 11 minutes of total gut-wrenching chaos. I call it “open wound” music because it’s unrelenting. Not in a metal kind of way, but in an out of control, pounding, merciless kind of way. If you dig it, you won’t notice the length.

Nick Cave – There She Goes My Beautiful World This is the one to take you over the finish line. After spending what energy you had left on the previous track, this one has so much spirit it practically lifts your listless legs for you. By the time you’re done, between the song and the exercise you will have had an exorcism and your spirit will be singing. The link looks like it's for some sort of Guitar Hero game, but I prefer it to the live versions that were out there.

There are plenty more. In fact, I just made my buddy Eric a great 80s mix to run to. Hope people get turned on to some of this stuff.