Loser Boozer

Even with as poorly as Boozer’s been playing, it hasn’t directly affected the outcome of a game, necessarily. Not a big one anyway. The Jazz would just be in a better position to win some games if he played better. That all changed last night. The Jazz had a million chances to take over that game and put the Lakers’ backs against the wall and they couldn’t do it, in true Jazz fashion. And, Boozer was mostly to blame.

In a close game like that when you’re on the road in the playoffs with a chance to steal a big game you need your best players playing like they should. Boozer couldn’t do it. Odom ate his lunch on virtually every possession. I never realized how bad a defender he is until this series. He just isn’t quick enough to compete. And, he’s being too big of a puss offensively to make up for it. Notice how rarely he is dunking. Such a big strong guy who did it a lot during the season has only managed maybe one or two the entire playoffs. If the Jazz lose this series, and they probably will, the target should be squarely on his enormous forehead. He’s to blame, totally and completely.

Well, Korver deserves some blame too. He can’t hit a 3 and that’s his sole purpose for living. He’s something like 6 for 30 from downtown. Every time he throws one up I well up with hope and faith and then deflate with a thud feeling stupid because I should know better after he inevitably misses.

I was the sickest I’ve ever been watching a sporting event last night during that game. I wanted to throw up. Impulses would try to propel me into hysteria, cheering for my guys, but they could never unlock it. They just managed to disappoint like they always do. It sucks to be a Utah sports fan.

The Jazz Have Been Lucky and I Think The Refs Have Been Paid Off Using Tithing Funds

As glad as I am that the Jazz are up 3-1, it hasn’t felt like they’ve outright dominated once in this series. In fact, I dare say they’ve been lucky. At no point do I think the Rockets have outplayed them, but they have underplayed this whole time.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually feel like the officiating has been terrible because it seems to be favoring the Jazz! Poor Luis Scola has received a couple fouls a game, including a couple crucial ones that impacted the outcome, that were as ticky-tack as they come. If I were the Rockets, I’d swear there was a conspiracy going on somewhere.

Actually, I DO swear there is a conspiracy going on, but that’s an entirely different post. Basically, the refs are what’s wrong with the NBA and I believe it’s total collusion. But, we’ll table that for later.

Plus, where have Boozer and Korver been? For being such key factors to the Jazz’ success, they have been almost completely non-factors. Korver can’t hit a 3 to save his life, practically his only real value, and Boozer hasn’t hit much of anything. Williams has emerged as the obvious star, completely eclipsing any illusion to it being a joint effort with Boozer. In fact, if anyone has taken up the slack, it’s been Okur. Thank goodness he’s doing alright.

Interesting sidenote on Okur, a friend of a friend lives in Detroit, where he used to play, and they claim he smokes like 3 packs a day. Athletes and doctors that smoke make no sense to me. Imagine what it must be like guarding Mehmet and having to smell the nicotive ooze out of his pores. Nasty. Actually, that’s probably true for most actors too. Think about how terribly Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt must reek.

I predict the Jazz in 6. The Rockets will probably win the next one at home, and then the Jazz will finally step up back in SLC in game 6. It didn’t have to be this difficult, but, like I’ve said, the Jazz love to make things hard for themselves.

The Jazz and My Religion: Practically the Same Thing.

It’s that time of year again. The time when the Jazz break my heart, just as they do every year.

I suffer from extreme loyalty. It’s a condition I wish I could shake, but I can’t. When I take assessment of this and weigh where my loyalties lie the most, it comes down to, in order:
Family
Religion
Utah Jazz
And, much like my religion, the Jazz never seem to pay the dividends my loyalty deserves.

I’ve been a fan since I was about 8 when I lived in the Bay Area and my grandparents had season tix to the Jazz, back when they practically had to give them away, and they would send me care packages of Jazz goodies and autographs. It’s true what advertisers say, if they can get their hooks in you at a young age, they have a customer for life.

Then, we moved to SLC when I was 10 and would often go to the games with them, back when getting tickets near their seats was no problem at all. After my grandpa died, my grandma would trade off taking me and my cousin Rick to all the games. From then til now, the Jazz have been, more or less, a perpetual disappointment. There were the Mark Eaton and Adrian Dantley years that barely brought respect, let alone a title. Then, there was the Stockton and Malone era, which were the salad days of Jazz devotion. They got better, they won, they became household names, they even made it to the finals two years in a row. But, they couldn’t get it done. Every year, they come back like prodigal sons, and we take them back because we love and believe in them (and because there isn’t much else to root for in Utah) and they continue to embarrass us.

I’m not saying Utahn’s have it as bad as Bostonians, but it’s tough to be a sports fan in Utah. In addition to the Jazz, BYU and the UofU have never really broken through to the elite either. In fact, what they do is tempt us. The U’s basketball team, led by Andre Miller and Michael Doleac, got to the National Championship in ’97, I think it was, and managed to give Kentucky a run for their money. But, they couldn’t hit a shot in the second half (no surprise) and ended up losing. Even though I went to BYU, we all lost when that happened.

BYU has had some success with their football program, but the bowl games they get invited to are never the big ones and, even though they’ve been doing well in whatever bowl was willing to have them lately, there were many years that they couldn’t be counted on either. See, Utah teams don’t just lose, they lose dramatically. They defeat themselves first and watch as the other team takes advantage.

Wins and losses mean more in Utah because each team also represents Utahns and, more specifically, Mormons. When a team does well on the national stage, it makes Mormons seem ever –so-slightly less strange. See, Mormons are very much the same way. We rarely compete on a national stage and win either. Maybe it’s a fear that success will bring corruption. Maybe it’s because we’re too naïve. Maybe, we’re afraid to compete in the real world. Personally, I believe it’s pieces of all 3 and can attest they all live, in various degrees, in my psyche.

The paradox here is, most sports teams, other than BYU’s, are not made up of members of the church. There are no Mormons on the Jazz. I can only think of a couple ever. The U isn’t stocked with them either. But, the perception outside of Utah is that Utah is a small market, it’s full of Mormons, and no one outside of Utah cares how good we are because they assume everyone in Utah is LDS. And Mormons are weird right? And isn't Utah where the polygamists live? And I heard you can't have alcohol in Utah, etc.

It is funny though how much the Jazz resemble a team Mormons would make if they could. I guess, since Larry Miller, the owner of the team, is LDS, that’s what the team is, but nevermind that. They play hardnose, never complaining, never showboating, team before individual, always adhering to a strict behavioral code that is unwaveringly stressed by a noble leader (Jerry Sloan) who walks it like he talks it. They are the embodiment of Mormon values and have been as long as Sloan’s been at the head, and will continue as long as he’s there. He even has a reputation for benching guys who don’t follow his rules, kinda like being disfellowshipped. Not to mention, like the church, they have a disproportionate number of white men.

I’m about to watch game one of the Jazz/Rockets series and, while I have high hopes that the Jazz can seriously compete this year, I’ve learned not to delude myself into believing they have a chance to go far, let alone win it all. In fact, there is one thing I CAN count on this postseason. We will manage to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Just like every other year.