Thursday, April 2, 2009

6 Years

Saturday was our 6th Anniversary. We were able to go out to dinner and a movie by ourselves and what was, when you're single, the least creative date idea in history, is now the most lavishly wonderful night ever created. Having kids does weird things to a marriage, as most of you know. You become more bonded as a team, but slightly more distanced as friends. Every day, from start to finish, revolves around schedules and trade-offs. There are those beautiful moments at night, when they're all asleep and you finally have time to talk or watch your favorite shows together, but by then you're often too tired or wanting to catch up on everything else you were putting off all day. It's all so necessary, but not very fun.

So, this year my commitment to Farrah is to make more time to spend together just the two of us. When we first had Graham, so many family members came to visit that we were afforded the occasional luxury of going out by ourselves. It must have spoiled me because I crave it every weekend now. So, we've committed to getting over our opposition to sitters (they charge like 8 bucks an hour to sit in our house and watch TV while the kids sleep. That is too easy money.) and splurge more often for our own sanity, if nothing else. I want my friend back. Too often now, I love the woman who raises my kids. I want to love the Farrah I had to myself first.

So, I wanted to list my 6 favorite things about her.

1) I wish it was something sexier, but, going back to what I've been harping on, the thing I'm most appreciative of now is her ability to keep our house in order. The bills are paid, the kids are fed, the house is clean, the laundry is done, it's miraculous. Mind you, I don't expect any of this. I'm not one of those husbands who feels entitled to a person like this. She's assumed the role on her own and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm amazed and truly humbled by it. In fact, the one downside is that I feel like a total bum now. I come home and try and do my part, but it never seems to be enough now. She has me beat by miles.

2) I love when she supports me when I need it most. She can be tough and it's often hard to know how she really feels about something. I, on the other hand, am an emotional wreck all day. I'm sure she's begun to lump me in with the kids as one more person to take care of. So, her support often comes from the school of tough love. I don't like it, but I know I need it and she pushes me to do better, toughen up, and quit crying. The best is when she senses it isn't the time for tough love and intuitively gives me the kid gloves. Either way, it keeps me on track.

3) I love that, for the most part, we love to do the same things together. Whether it's go to the movies, go out to eat, hit the gym, or just watch our shows on DVR, we always have that special little thing that brings us together. We're very good at just hanging out with each other. That's a major blessing, I think. It also helps that neither of us are the most overtly social people around.

4) Conversely, we also allow each other to do their own thing. I gave up trying to take her to concerts with me years ago and she knows I'm not going to be much help on shopping excursions. These may be the most vital pieces to a marriage that works. It's the balance of enjoying things together, and allowing each other to enjoy their time alone. That balance is crucial. Oh, and making sure that time alone isn't spent shopping with money we don't have or watching porn also helps a lot.

5) She's a great cook. We aren't a dinner on the table every night kind of family, but she makes thoughtful meals a couple times a week and she does it mostly for me and I'm always grateful. I haven't quite figured out the easiest way to tell her when I don't like the recipe she's testing out, especially not after she just spent an hour making it, but we're getting there. I hope by me doing the dishes every time, I'm earning my keep.

6) Her patience, which has improved dramatically since we first got married. Motherhood, being the Relief Society President, and being married to me would force anyone into submission, but she has matured gracefully.

I hope I'm worthy of another 6 years, babe!


cmontroy said...

what a sweet tribute to farrah! You guys are awesome. I am glad that not looking at porn helps your marraige. It helps us too :)

Farrah said...

Good job!!!! this is very, very sweet babe.

Laney said...

Awww, that was so fun to read all that nice stuff about Farrah. Everyone always talks about how hard having kids is on a marriage, so its nice to read that you guys are hanging in there and doing well.

Marilyn said...

What a wonderful (and well deserved) tribute to Farrah! You guys are so cute and thoughtful to write your favorite things about each other - that's a very sweet tradition. You are a great couple and a fantastic team, and we love you both so much! Happy Anniversary and Many (WAY MORE than six more) Happy Returns of the Day! Mom and Dad

Bryan said...

Happy Anniversary to you guys. Jon - I'm always so impressed at your verbose-ness. I do think you should still write about that idea I had though.

AnnieB said...

Happy Anniversary! I love the tradition of the things you love about each other. That would mean John and I would have to come up with 11 things in August. Hmm, that could be difficult! JK! You two are awesome and amazing and perfect for each other and I love reading what you wrote for each other. I love you both and are in awe of your little beautiful creations!